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Reading this book had me reflecting on my own relationships. I was reading like "how could you not see that" then remember times in my life when I was in the same situation and chose to stay/ignore the flags. I had to laugh at myself. The stories are engaging and the therapist commentary is on point.
Vicky D Valentine
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With expert insight and compassion, Dr. Futrell equips readers with invaluable knowledge to recognize and respond to potential abuse, making this book an essential read for anyone navigating the complexities of intimate partnerships.
Jason
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Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2024
This book is extremely relatable and a must read for anyone looking to gain a deeper understanding of relationships. Reading it helped me identify the red flags not only in people I’ve met but in myself.
This book is extremely relatable and a must read for anyone looking to gain a deeper understanding of relationships. Reading it helped me identify the red flags not only in people I’ve met but in myself.
Miko Rogers
Check out this excerpt from one of the many diary entries...
CHECK OUT THIS EXCERPT FROM ONE OF THE MANY DIARY ENTRIES...
“It’s an almost indescribably scary feeling to be anxious and nearly afraid when your boyfriend says to you “I need to talk to you about something.” Your heart immediately starts to race, you become slightly short of breath and panicky. Eventually I would even immediately begin to experience early signs of a headache when he would say “I need to talk to you” or “something disturbs me, we need to talk.” This is a response that developed over time. I literally would begin to have frequent migraines. When “I need to talk to you about something” goes from being said sporadically, to every month, to every week to damn near every day. You are no longer “walking on eggshells.” You are literally tiptoe standing on them, afraid to move.
“It’s an almost indescribably scary feeling to be anxious and nearly afraid when your boyfriend says to you “I need to talk to you about something.” Your heart immediately starts to race, you become slightly short of breath and panicky. Eventually I would even immediately begin to experience early signs of a headache when he would say “I need to talk to you” or “something disturbs me, we need to talk.” This is a response that developed over time. I literally would begin to have frequent migraines. When “I need to talk to you about something” goes from being said sporadically, to every month, to every week to damn near every day. You are no longer “walking on eggshells.” You are literally tiptoe standing on them, afraid to move.
This book is not just about stories. It provides psychoeducation and feedback on taking care of yourself and picking a healthy life partner.
THIS BOOK IS NOT JUST ABOUT STORIES, IT PROVIDES PSYCHOEDUCATION AND FEEDBACK ON TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND PICKING A HEALTHY LIFE PARTNER.
"Every relationship that we have as adults is predicated on the relationship, we have with ourselves. It’s why it’s so important for children to have what they need from us as parents during their “formative years.” The term formative years is surely debatable in various disciplines of study but I’m here to suggest that we are in our formative years in one stage or another until we reach adulthood. The brain is still forming up through the age of 25. To have a healthy relationship with others, you must first seek to have a healthy relationship with yourself. You do that by ensuring you have a good feeling of self."
"Every relationship that we have as adults is predicated on the relationship, we have with ourselves. It’s why it’s so important for children to have what they need from us as parents during their “formative years.” The term formative years is surely debatable in various disciplines of study but I’m here to suggest that we are in our formative years in one stage or another until we reach adulthood. The brain is still forming up through the age of 25. To have a healthy relationship with others, you must first seek to have a healthy relationship with yourself. You do that by ensuring you have a good feeling of self."
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THE NARCISSIST
How it starts...the setup
You meet. They are just right. Perfectly flawed. Why? Because you were chosen for the way you think. You see people as perfectly flawed. Ready to forgive and see past a person's imperfections because 1. you know that no one is perfect and 2. you want to have your flaws overlooked. The red flags are pink to you... Read this again THEY CHOSE YOU...
Next…Love Bombing
All the praise a person could ever need. They compliment your intelligence, your looks, your sex appeal. They lift you up in comparison of others.
--You are so pretty, you are so sexy, you so fine
Of course if you have been let down in the past (which you have because that's why you were chosen) then you get things like this
"they were not good enough for you because they are not smart enough to see what I see in you"
They shower you with gifts, trips and money. They may even pray for you and with you.
RIGHT NOW, THE ACTIONS MATCH THE WORDS. THIS IS WHY THE FLAGS ARE STILL PINK.
Next...the change up and the gaslight
How it starts...the setup
You meet. They are just right. Perfectly flawed. Why? Because you were chosen for the way you think. You see people as perfectly flawed. Ready to forgive and see past a person's imperfections because 1. you know that no one is perfect and 2. you want to have your flaws overlooked. The red flags are pink to you... Read this again THEY CHOSE YOU...
Next…Love Bombing
All the praise a person could ever need. They compliment your intelligence, your looks, your sex appeal. They lift you up in comparison of others.
--You are so pretty, you are so sexy, you so fine
Of course if you have been let down in the past (which you have because that's why you were chosen) then you get things like this
"they were not good enough for you because they are not smart enough to see what I see in you"
They shower you with gifts, trips and money. They may even pray for you and with you.
RIGHT NOW, THE ACTIONS MATCH THE WORDS. THIS IS WHY THE FLAGS ARE STILL PINK.
Next...the change up and the gaslight
Good Afternoon,
I like it, A lot of adults do not know their attachemnt style and understand how childhood can determine their attachment style in adulthood. This book will help to bring awareness to those "red flags" that we often overlook in relationships.
I like it, A lot of adults do not know their attachemnt style and understand how childhood can determine their attachment style in adulthood. This book will help to bring awareness to those "red flags" that we often overlook in relationships.
Nypherria White
DIARIES
"True story accounts and practical therapeutic feedback"
WE ALL HAVE STORIES TO TELL AND IN RED FLAG DIARIES, YOU'LL GET TO HEAR REAL STORIES FROM MED ANDWOMEN WHO FOUND THEMSELVES IN RED FLAG SITUATIONS IN ALL TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS, RED FLAG DIARIES GOES BEYOND THE BONDS OF SELF-HELP BY DISCUSSING ATTACHMENT STYLES, SELF-CARE AND INNTIMACY ALL WHILE CREATING A SPACE FOR OTHERS TO SHARE THEIR STORIES.